When you were growing up, did you have a vision (damn near reality) of how You envisioned your life. I did! I think at some point we all did. Did it turn out as you imagined? If it didn’t, did it shock you? Or did you think it was wishful thinking?
You know l strongly believe in God more than l believe in my next breath. Yes, it’s that real! I can almost feel it. So, l laugh at myself because we plan and God laughs at our mediocre plans.
Since my father passed - everything changed in my family. Not in a bad way - NO, but in a GREAT way. Hold on, hold on, he was my first and only love but it changed because it made me appreciate my family more - my mother (especially), my sisters, extended family and my friends. Why? This is because l just didn’t realize we were all born with an expiration date. Yes, l legit did not believe that. I remember growing up as a child - my younger sister passed, but l barely knew her so although l was sad, l was also so young - two deaths that stands out is Princess Diana and Pres. Abacha because l felt both deaths in my household but l didn’t know them so it still wasn’t as real. My father on the other hand, who l still feel - who raised me, encouraged me and LOVED me. I felt. 2-3 months later until l processed his death. My brain blocked the emotion - my brain does that. It suppress the feeling and at an unconscionable time, l suddenly begin to feel.
Real life storming into my reality. Truthfully, it becomes fucked up! I thank God for someone special that held my hand through that unimaginable/unforgettable pain. Where my real life slapped reality on me by force.
What are some of the harsh realities you’ve been through in your life?
I pray to everyone who reads this - for problems!!!!! but the ones you can manage cause there isn’t reality in this life without one without problems.
Written with Love,
Pamela
