Is it just me, but SOMETIMES l don’t necessarily like the
idea behind facetime. I wonder if l were in Nigeria – would l feel the same
way? I remember back home in Nigeria when
people used to stop by unannounced or uninvited. It was the norm – people weren’t
expected to call you before coming to visit but they showed up anytime at your
house for visits that lasted anywhere from 20 minutes to 4 hours. I knew my neighbors,
l knew the people on my street – l even knew people in other houses on other
streets. It was more of a community than anything. For those non-Nigerians,
keep in mind that most homes in Nigeria are gated – so if a visitor is at your
door, you would probably have seen them through the camera/window – driving down
your street, possibly honking at your gate, asking the gateman if you’re home all
before actually knocking at your door. Unlike America – where you could easily
ring someone’s doorbell, back in Nigeria – there were a series of steps to take
before actually knocking on your front door. I have lived in America now for
almost 13 years – I’ve lived in an apartment on my own for almost 6 years now –
I’ve stayed in 4 different apartment communities and I’ve only known 1 of my neighbors.
I’ll see my neighbors, people on my floor/building---at the mailroom, taking
the same shuttle to the train station or at the apartment gym but the
conversation has never gotten past a polite “hello”.
Looking back at things, speaking to my family and friends back
home l realize how much of the culture I’ve adopted and has become a part of my
personality. Before friends stop by they should give me adequate notice, don’t bother
stopping by unannounced or uninvited unless l may even pretend not to be home.
Yes, maybe I’m being extreme here but there’s some truth to what I’m saying. I
went to get prescription sunglasses the other day – l ran into this very pleasant
woman from the Ivory Coast and we got to talking about the cultural differences
and if one is not careful – you turn into an introvert. You have kids rushing
to leave their parents home and branch out on their own. Where back home, more
women than men do not leave their parents’ home until marriage. Of course there
is an exception to the rule; job placement, leaving with relatives, deceased parents
etc. but this is not the norm.
With all the benefits I’ve reaped here in this wonderful
country called America – I’ve also become socially intolerant towards the same
culture l knew and loved. For example; l can hang out with a group of friends
for 2 nights in a row at the max then l need to return to my sanctuary. Not
that l don’t love my friends – l do. I can literally stay in my apartment all
week long – reading, working, watching tv and working out. I can do this and I’ll
be good. In fact I’ll be GREAT!!!! Back
at home – l remember when l had friends over every day and during the summer friends
lived with me like it was their home. It’s funny cause l remember my dad put an
extra bed in my room cause our friends were always over. Now – they have to
call ahead of time to come over – depending on how I’m feeling, l will meet
them for dinner so l can return back to my place alone at anytime in piece.
Solution: Life is short, there’s more out there – right? So,
I’ve decided to be a little more proactive in my life. Go out there – travel,
meet new people. I booked a ticket to see my sister this weekend – next weekend,
I’m going to hang out with friends – maybe I’ll get a little crazy and spend
the night at my girlfriends place.. Ok – and that neighbor l see walking by, I’ll
introduce myself and ask how he/she’s day is going. Right? We can either bitch
about it – or do something. I’m not trying to change overnight but take a step
towards progress for a better tomorrow. I’ve noticed this about my current
situation and although l can’t control external factors – l can control me.
What is something in your life by one step or action can make a difference in
how you perceive something else?
God Bless xx
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